little bit of lagniappe

reflecting on everyday grace

Letting go…letting in…

This past week, after a long, soul-filling walk with a dear friend, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about control — the control I think I have, the control I try to release —  that tricky, sticky struggle of our human nature.  Why do we so desire control?  Why is it so hard to let it go? Somehow, even when I think I have let go, I realize how easily tangled back into that mess I can become  — that illusion of thinking I have it all together.

All around us, our society constantly bombards and feeds us with images laced with sugary, addictive notions of control and power, and how easily we succumb to those lies, thinking that we can plan and schedule and control the rest of our days.  In my own personal life, for these past 11 years since college (eek!), I have lived on my own and found myself seeping into routines, rituals, and habits that often made me believe that I was steering my own ship.

Unfortunately, yet fortunately, there are those “beautiful disasters” that arise in life that make us wake up to our powerlessness and our deep need for grace.  I have experienced quite of few of those as I have entered my thirties, and I realize that I have to pray to let go every single day.  In my desperate humanness, as soon as I lose control in one area, I realize how tempted I am to cling on elsewhere – to retain some tangible sense of safety and security.  However, the irony comes when we realize that in losing control we gain true freedom…the freedom to LET GO, to not worry, to trust God completely and fully, and to LET IN all the love He gives.

Last month, during our Christian Emphasis Week at school, an amazing human being and singer/songwriter named Ginny Owens came to share her gifts.  Another dear friend had introduced her music to me just days before her arrival, and while I was instantly transformed by her voice and piano melodies, it was who she was and her story that resonated with me most.  Ginny Owens is blind.  In spite of this “deficit,” this “disability,” this “powerlessness,” Ginny sees much more of life than many of us do with full sight.  In her brief time with us, she taught me about trusting deeply, about letting go, and about letting in all the beauty and love that God intends for us daily…would we but seek it.

Daily, we must pray to seek, to unwrap, to let go, to let in.

Here’s a bit of Ginny that I listen to every day; a dose of peace and encouragement — even in the midst of those most unraveling moments:


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